changed my bloggy's URL! hahahahahahaha. Imperfect(a) eyh . hmm. school's getting from bad to worse. especially D & T. this school holidays(March Holidays), will be coming back for D & T to finish the Artefact. By the end of next week! whatthajoke. bley mam seyh. These past few days, feeling sooo damn weak. i don't know why. my whole body's aching like hell, feeling like vomitting..especially in school. sheeeesshh!
Oh yea! just now in school, while listening to what Mr Imran was saying, one EGG flew by and hit our class window, in between where me and Jie Yu was sitting! Jie Yu kene mara tak psl2 sbb Mr Imran thought she was the one who threw it. Then, another one," BOOOSH!". in between where me and Widya was sitting. everyone was shocked. we look out of the class window and saw 2 bastards from the block opposite our school, happily throwing eggs into our school. we saw them. they looked like chinese or phillipines like tht. Mr Imran buat bodo sia. everyone was shocked and scared, die rilek2. then when Mr Lee came in, we told him abt the eggs incident, he looked very worried and shocked. he told us to tell Mr Sim if there's such problems. We then called up some cleaners to clean it up then the school office(maybe?) called up the police and reported abt tht egg incident. sampai jadi POLICE peyh case sial. hahahahah. bodo pey babi. mcm ade dendam kt skola kte siak. bodo. :p

Hannah! sal takley klua jln2 ngan kteorg?? we asked u out, u said your parents don't allow cuz why? you're too young to hang out. whatthajoke.
nevermind. lame2 cket lagi then boley uh eyh. hahahah. tht's quite long. [;
wehehehehehehehehe.

Do you love me?
Or do you not?
you told me once, but i forgot.
So tell me now, and tell me true, so I can say that I love you.
Of all the guys I've ever met, you're the one, I won't forget.
And if I die before you do, I go to heaven and wait for you.


From the moment I saw you i knew this was true
So damn beautiful my eyes fixated on you.
I wanted to hug you, hold you so tight,
I wanted to tell you this feels so right.
Now i have a voice, my feelings out loud,
A smile on my face so happy and proud.
A girl with a dream and a dream come true,
A girl who has found the one, the one is you!


When I first saw you I was afraid to meet you,
When I first met you i was afraid to kiss you,
When I first kissed you I was afraid to love you,
and now that i love you i am afraid to loose you.


Love is like a river, or maybe a deep blue sea.
Love flows on forever, always and endlessly.
Love is something special, something you can't touch or see.
Love is amazing, this thing I feel for you and you for me.


I'm not afraid of death,
I'm not afraid of dying.
I'm not afraid of heartbreak
and I'm not afraid of crying.
The only thing I fear of ever really comming true,
is living this fearless life without you.


You're the first thing i think of each morning when i rise.
You're the last thing i think of each night when i close my eyes.
You're in each thought, i have and every breath i take.
My feelings are growing stronger with every move i make.
I want to prove i love you, but thats the hardest part.
If i tell you a secret, could it lead to a new start?



I can’t breathe..

I want to but no air comes out.

I want to speak but no words come out.

Why do I feel... hurt?

I feel betray. I feel like love had forgotten me.

Like God only help those who have love.

My heart hurts. My heart feels like a thousand needles went through my chest and now it’s bleeding slowly for me to die.

Why? Why when I try to move my hands to touch the ground I can't touch the ground.

Just to know it’s still there. Just to know I am still alive.

Broken.

I feel like a broken doll..shattered into pieces..pieces all over the floor, with no one there to put me back together...no one will fix me. No one will love me. No one will help me breath not feel things that is real not to even to tell me that I’m alive.

Now I know. My heart is broken.
But I can’t let you know that..nor can I let you go.
At random parts of the day, I start shaking.
From the tears…that you left me, people gave me hope, people gave me doubt.
I feel like an idiot to let my heart break...to entrust it in a guys hands.
When I know…multiple guys that have Shattered, Ripped, and Torn open other women’s hearts.
My uncles, my father..and yet I still entrusted you with that masterpiece, the one I created from scratch.
I am pathetic.
Obviously I do not deserve a guy like you.
But I can't help to wonder what it would be like with you.
I feel like an idiot..but i want to help you anyway.



Blood is red,
bruises are blue.
My bones are broken,
thanks to you.
My heart is bleeding,
my tears are black.
And I can't believe,
I want you back.



Her words are meaningless just like her life..
it’s always been about the pain, it’s always been about the strife .
She calls his name out from the dark.
Her heart is dead, he left his mark.

She screams out loud to soften the pain,
Her tears they come, like falling rain.
The notes she writes, he tears apart,
He abandoned her there, and stole her heart.

She feels so used, so broken, so bent,
All the words he told her, he never meant.
She lies awake and wonders why,
She crosses her heart and hopes to die.



You know you're heartbroken when...

you have an actual pain in your chest when you think about the past and realize that its all gone....you'll never have another one of those moments with that person again.

you would rather live in pain for the rest of your life than allow yourself to love someone else.

hope becomes its own bodily reaction, reproduces to fill in cracks of your heart after every encounter you have with that person, and nothing happens.

even just after talking to them for two minutes over nothing makes you want to cry because all you really want to be able to say is "i miss you" but you cant because it would make things worse.

nobody can compare with that person, so you dont date.

you'd consider changing around your schedule so you could "run into" that person when you just so happen to know they'll be on their way home. its not stalking. its creating opportunities.

all those feelings you had when you first started to fall for them, the fluttering in your chest, the falling stomach feeling, the constant thinking of little things that are probably insignificant, it all comes back and is full fledged.

the idea of finding out they love someone else is enough to make you want to hide away for the rest of you life just so you dont run the risk of seeing them together.

you have to fight off the instinct to hold their hand or kiss them the way you used to....and it takes effort.

you become weird and akward in their presence often...because you cant just be yourself, they already know you...and they'll be able to anticipate what youre going to say or do. if you wanted to say "i love you" they would see it coming....and would themselves become akward too. and would likely try to cut you off before you got the chance to say it.

you feel numb inside after awhile of not seeing or talking to them. you mistake it for being over them. and then you run into them and immediately realize just how wrong you were.




Do you love?
Do you hate?
Do you stop to appreciate?

The feelings someone has for you?
The things that keep you from being blue?

Have you loved?
Have you lost?
Have you tried no matter what the cost?

Do you love her/him?
Does she/he love you?
Will you ever find out if it is true?

Have you loved while taking hate?
Is it she who doesn't appreciate?

Are you lost?
Are you confused?
Is it all leaving your heart bruised?

Is it real?
Is it faking?
Is it my heart that's slowly breaking?

Does it hurt?
Does it kill?
Does it make you never want to heal?

A broken heart is a great deal.
A broken heart may never heal.





He loves me...
He loves me not...
He loves me...
He loves me not...
I loved you once...
You loved me not...
I loved you twice...
But I forgot...
'I love you... But you'll never love me...'
You never loved me...
You never will...
But even so...
I love you still...
Forget the times he walked by,
Forget the times he made you cry,
Forget the times he spoke your name,
Remember your feelings arn't the same...
'You leave me here, with my broken heart to bleed.'
Forget the times her held your hand,
Forget the sweet things if you can,
Forget those times and don't pretend,
Remember now he's just a friend...
And you think:
'Will I ever get over him, or is my heart going too carry on breaking...?'
It's weird...
You know the end of something great is coming,
But you just want to hold on,
just so it can hurt a little more...
Sometimes you just have to let go,
to see if this is worth holding on too...
I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had...
But I can't cause I know you won't come after me,
And I guess that hurts the most...
I will always love you.
You've always loved her,
And now I can see,
That the one in your heart,
Was never me...
All of those times you held me close,
It was her you needed and loved the most...
'I love you... Even though I KNOW you love her...'
Its hard for me to swallow my pride,
Knowing that my love was the love you denied...
'I know you don't love me, so why am I even TRYING.'
When I see you with her I force a grin,
But really my heart is breaking within...
My love for you is stronger than ever,
But I know in my heart we will never be together...
So I'm letting you go now,
With tears in my eyes,
I'm telling my last and final...
Goodbye...
'Come what may, I will love you until my dieing day...'
I'm going to smile like nothings wrong,
Talk like everythings perfect,
Act like its just a dream,
And pretend its not hurting me...
I would do anything for you...
No one is worth the tears,
And shouldn't make you cry...
'I cry each night, and you will never know why...'
The only thing that ever made sense,
To me was you...

So sad,
What do you reckon,
I hope it doesn't happen to you.